Why “Sleep When the Baby Sleeps” Isn’t Always Realistic

Hey there, fellow moms! 👋

If you’re a new mom, you’ve probably heard this piece of advice on repeat: “Just sleep when the baby sleeps.” On the surface, it sounds simple enough. Babies nap, moms nap, everyone’s rested and happy, right?

But here’s the reality: life doesn’t stop just because your baby is asleep. And for many moms, the idea of catching a nap every time their little one does feels far from realistic.

Let’s break down why.

1. Household Responsibilities Don’t Pause

Dishes pile up, laundry needs folding, bottles need washing, and the floor is somehow sticky again. For many moms, nap time feels like the only window to tackle the never-ending list of chores.

What helps: Give yourself permission to prioritize. Not everything has to be done right away. Choose one small task that will make life easier later, and let the rest wait. You could also set a time to do a chore and when the time is up, you rest. A good time is 20-30 minutes.

2. It May Be the Only Time for You

Sometimes you don’t want to sleep, you want to shower, drink your coffee while it’s hot, or scroll Instagram without holding a baby. And that’s okay.

What helps: Build small “mom breaks” into your day. Even 15 minutes of quiet time can be more refreshing than a nap you don’t really want.

3. Naps Aren’t Always Long Enough

Some babies nap for two hours… others, twenty minutes. And for moms, falling asleep isn’t always instant. By the time you relax, your baby may already be stirring.

What helps: Use short naps to rest your body, even if you can’t fully sleep. Lie down, close your eyes, and breathe deeply, your body will thank you.

4. Sleep at Odd Hours Isn’t Restorative

Napping in the middle of the day doesn’t always align with your body’s natural rhythm. You may wake up feeling groggy instead of refreshed.

What helps: Focus on maximizing night sleep when possible. Share nighttime duties with a partner if you can, or try shifts so each of you gets longer stretches of rest.

5. Mental Load Keeps You Awake

Even when the baby’s asleep, your mind might be racing: Did I remember the pediatrician appointment? When should I start tummy time? What’s for dinner? That mental load can make true rest feel impossible.

What helps: Keep a notebook or use your phone to jot down racing thoughts before lying down. Clearing your mind makes rest easier, even if you don’t nap.

Final Thoughts

“Sleep when the baby sleeps” comes from a place of care, but it often oversimplifies the very real challenges of new motherhood. Rest is important, but so is giving yourself grace. Some days you’ll nap, some days you’ll clean, and some days you’ll just sit and breathe. All of it is okay.

Remember: you don’t need to follow every piece of advice perfectly, you just need to find what works for you, your baby and your family.