How Parents Can Help Their Students Succeed

Hey there, fellow parents! 👋

As a middle school counselor, I spend every day working with students and helping them manage anxiety, peer issues, academic stress, and the big emotions that come with growing up. I also work closely with parents who are doing their best, often wondering, "What can I do to really support my child?"

The good news? You don’t need a degree in education or child psychology to help your student thrive. You just need intentional connection, consistency, and a willingness to grow alongside your child.

Here are a few ways parents can make a big impact even in small, everyday ways:

1. Create a Safe, Judgment-Free Zone at Home

Kids need to know they can come home and be themselves. Whether they’ve had a great day or a disaster of one, your home should feel emotionally safe. This is really hard for some parents because they also have strong opinions. Try saying:

• “I’m here to listen, not fix.”

• “You don’t have to have it all figured out — we’ll figure it out together.”

The more safe and seen a child feels, the more resilient they become.

2. Be Present, Not Perfect

You don’t need to have all the answers. What kids really crave is your presence. Someone who looks up from their phone, asks how their day went, and actually listens. Car rides, bedtime, and dinner are great check-in moments.

3. Stay Curious About Their World

Ask questions that go beyond, “How was school?”
Try:

• “What made you laugh today?”

• “Did anything feel challenging or unfair?”

• “What’s something I can do to support you this week?”

Show interest in their friends, favorite YouTubers, or what’s going on in class. When you stay curious, you build connection and trust. A great opportunity to do this is at dinner time as a family. Check out my 100 questions in a jar game that you could play to learn more about your family members and have a great time doing it.

4. Support Routines & Responsibility

Kids thrive on structure and so do most adults. Help them build good habits around sleep, homework, screen time, and chores but do it with collaboration, not control. Let them have some input and independence so they’re developing real world life skills, not just checking boxes. If they question why you are having them do something, explain it to them or ask them why they think you are having them do it.

5. Don’t Rescue Them From Every Struggle

As hard as it is, kids grow stronger when they work through conflict, make mistakes, or experience discomfort. This is something I see so often at the school. Parents wanting to change a student's schedule because they don't like how the teacher does something or picking them up from school because they are having a bad day, every single day. Instead of jumping in to fix everything, try coaching them through it:

• “What do you think your options are here?”

• “How do you want to handle this next time?”

Learning to problem solve is one of the most valuable skills a child can gain.

6. Partner With the School, Not Against It

Your child’s teachers, counselors, and administrators want the same thing you do, for your child to succeed. If a concern arises, approach the school as a partner, not a critic. We’re here to help and collaboration always works better than conflict. When a parent comes in to the school to fight with whomever it makes us all go on the defensive instead of being open and willing to come up with ideas to help the student. It is so much easier when we have a parent that comes in and says they are struggling and need help. Usually we have already dealt with similar situations and have some solutions to try.

7. Keep Communication Open (Even When It’s Hard)

Your student won’t always want to talk and that’s okay. Just keep the door open. Be a calm, consistent presence. They’re listening even when they’re not responding the way you hope. Even as adults we sometimes have to take time to process something that happened before we want to talk about it. How can we think that our kids will be ready to discuss something that just happened without processing time? One of the biggest communication models you can show your kids is when you apologize for doing something wrong. Then they see that it is ok to make mistakes, but that you should admit to those mistakes.

8. Model What You Want to See

Respect, boundaries, emotional regulation, work ethic. Your child is watching how you handle all of it, all of the time. Show them how to manage stress, own your mistakes, and treat others well. That teaches more than any lecture ever will.

Final Thoughts: You’re Already Doing More Than You Know

Being a parent today is not easy. There’s pressure coming from every direction and it’s okay to not get it right every time. What matters most is that you’re trying, you’re present, and you love your child enough to keep showing up.

From one helper to another — thank you for being in your child’s corner.